Together Again
by Razorwind's Angel
Summary: When Duo's past finally reveals its self, haunting images and reminders plauge his mind and break down his soul...
1. Part 1 - Friends

Title: Aftermath

Author: ChibiMercuryDeathScythe

Anime: Gundam Wing

Genre: I dunno…Mystery? Drama? A little of both?

Time period: One year after Endless Waltz

Subject: Duo dealing with a great loss.

Rating: PG-13 for language and some graphic detail

Disclaimer: I don't own them, so you can't do anything! NAW!

AN: Here I am again with yet ANOTHER fic. ::Sighs and mutters: I need a life…:: This one has the rather interesting topic of Duo finding out about his past, losing something he'd just found, and the affects it has on him. It's kinda sad, so get some tissues if you're easily tear-jerked. 

Other notes: All the boys are eighteen, and seniors at an American high school.

Key: _Thought_

"Spoken dialogue"

Written note between pilots: Heero's writing

Written: Duo's hand writing

****

Together Again – by ChibiMercuryDeathScythe

"…to control the all ready harsh and often brutal competition, the so called 'Robber Barons' would buy out their competitors, sometimes even threatening lives in order to get what they wanted. Of course this nearly eliminated small business as well as free enterprise and created huge monopolies…" the hyper active History teacher, Mr. Lentz continued to lecture, using exaggerated movements and accentuated words. Despite the high energy teachings going on, Duo Maxwell could hardly keep his head up. His eyes drooped sleepily and his head was constantly bobbing up and down.

"Duo!" his friend, Heero Yuy, hissed from beside him, smacking Duo's arm. Duo startled awake, a tiny cry escaping as he did so, catching the teacher's attention. Mr. Lentz paused his lecture long enough to stare at the two teens in the back row. 

Mr. Lentz knew good and well that they were two of five, the five that ended the Eve Wars and prevented another war just over a year ago. They were two of the Gundam Pilots, now enrolled at an American high school in hopes of getting the reminder of the education they should have received ages ago. As far as students went, they were pretty much okay, but Mr. Maxwell could never seem to stay awake even in his intense lectures. He always seemed tired and worn down, something constantly on his mind; something that haunted the war torn teenager like nothing should ever do to some one Duo's age.

Mr. Lentz returned to lecturing, choosing to let the interruption pass after Duo gave him a shaky grin and a quiet apology, returning quickly to his book. Heero gave a sigh in the seat next to Duo. A few seconds later a folded piece of lined paper was pushed over the text in the book. Duo picked it up and read it.

Duo, pay attention baka!

Duo gave a heavy sigh, not wanting to get in to it with Heero. His excuses, though total truth, were never good enough for the cynical teen. He wrote a quick response and passed the note back.

I can't help it! I am really tired, okay? So just get off my case!

Heero rolled his eyes at the answer, wondering if Duo was ever full conscious in the day. The braided teen was a perpetual night owl, creeping around his apartment till all hours of the morning doing God-knows-what and thinking about thoughts that only he and the walls knew about.

How many times have I told you…we're on school now, so be responsible and get some sleep at night instead of staying up until the butt ass crack of dawn…

Dame, Hee-chan. I can't sleep at night.

Heero looked up at Duo curiously. Was he simply pushing it off as simple insomnia, or was _it_ creeping in to his nights, too? Heero couldn't imagine something like _that_ affecting Duo so deeply. Sure, everyone knew the memories ate his heart like a rabid animal, but even something as big as…_that_…wouldn't start to affect Duo's sleeping habits. Would it?

Pure insomnia or is something bothering you?

Duo scoffed quietly at the response. Heero was actually concerned for his well being? 

Since when did you actaully care about how my life was going? 

What's that supposed to mean?

Exactly what it says, Yuy. You really care about my well being?

Hai, Duo, I always have. Just because I act like I don't care doesn't mean I really don't. That's just the way I am. You should know that by now.

Oh, I see…well, if you must know it's from bad dreams.

Heero looked up at Duo, finally seeing the dark circles underneath his big blue eyes. His unusually pale skin gave him the look of a tortured soul. Heero started to respond, hoping he could some how urge the stubborn boy to talk about what happened so long ago, when Mr. Lentz walked by, snatching the note away.

"I'll see you after class Mr. Yuy." Mr. Lentz said as he ripped the note up.

"But, he didn't-" Duo started to protest, trying to defend his friend. Heero threw him a look, then glanced up at Mr. Lentz, giving a small nod.

"Yes, sir."

~

After class…

Wufei Chang headed down the hall to pick up Duo and Heero for lunch when he saw a lone braided pilot leaning against the brick wall, arms crossed over his chest and head bowed low, Heero no where in sight. The halls were almost empty, everyone all ready on their way to lunch, and the class room door Duo was near was tightly closed.

"Where's Heero?" Wufei asked once he got close enough. Duo pointed a thumb to Mr. Lentz's door. Wufei raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Got caught passing notes."

"Maxwell!" Wufei exclaimed, " Why do you insist on getting him in trouble?" he snapped. Duo spun around to face him, eyes flashing angrily despite his fatigue.

"I tried to save his ass but he wouldn't let me, so don't pull that justice and integrity bull shit." Duo hissed. Wufei was pretty much undaunted, as usual. Duo's loss of his happy-go-lucky personality and his sudden unpredictable outbursts didn't come as any surprised to the Chinese boy after what happened to Duo. Though never outwardly admitted, however, it did slightly worry Wufei that Duo was becoming too depressed for his own good. Wufei started with a comeback never the less, until he was cut off by the sound of a door opening and Heero intervening.

"Enough." The monotone voice floated from the side. Duo glared at Wufei, then glanced over his shoulder at Heero, "I didn't get in trouble." Heero answered at the silent question.

"Good." Duo said shortly, walking away from the two. Wufei gave Heero ways glance, watching Duo's receding form go down the hall.

"It's still haunting him, isn't it?" the young man asked his friend.

"It never stopped, Wufei."

~

Quatre Raberba Winner still couldn't get used to seeing Duo sulk down the halls of the high school on a daily basis since it happened, never smiling or cracking a joke like he used to. So when Duo came storming down the halls that particular day he stopped in mid sentence, causing Trowa Barton to glance over his shoulder.

"Mr. Sunshine's back…" Trowa said snidely, never much caring for Duo's attitude change. Quatre gave Trowa a pleading look.

"Yameru, Trowa-chan…you know he's still reeling from it." Trowa frowned deeply, knowing it was true, and despite the discontempt he felt towards Duo's attitude. All too well did Trowa Barton, once known as 'Nanashi' know what the other pilot was going though. 

A good twenty feet away and in one of the main halls, Duo walked by unheeding of the two pairs of eyes following him.

The two teens watched their angry friend walk by, wishing there was something they could do, but knowing good and well that Duo was stuck having to deal with this new pain all on his own.

~

Duo stormed in to the cafeteria, obviously upset. A young girl with long auburn hair and thoughtful green eyes watched the braided pilot walk to the stage, jump up on to the edge, and stomp off in to the dark recesses of backstage. Everyone knew who those five boys were, those famous Gundam pilots from the Eve Wars. Five brave teenage souls who risked everything just to give peace back to the colonies. Everyone at the school also knew not to bring up their torrid past, because that's all it was: the past.

Hikari Hino knew that it was that same exact subject that cause Duo Maxwell's pain, all because it was being left in the dark…and eating him alive. She was one of the few who knew he was the soul survivor of the Maxwell Church Massacre of A.C. 192. Shinigami was alone in fighting his demons, and he was losing. 

Kari made an attempt to befriend the ex-pilots, but a few months after the school year began, Duo shied away from his friends, losing his happy-go-lucky smile and boisterous attitude. Duo missed an entire week for some unknown reason, then when he returned and Kari attempted to ask him about his disappearance, a sullen Quatre stopped her and asked to leave him alone. The subject was dropped then and there, and Duo wouldn't speak to the girl, leaving her to wonder what in the world could have been going on. She had a crush on him, that was a fact that couldn't be denied, and it killed her to see him like he was. She wanted to help, but she never even had a chance to understand what his problem was.

__

Well, now's a good time to find out…Kari thought after seeing none of the other pilots were around. She followed the path Duo had taken, stealing behind the thick blue curtain in to the darkness. No light penetrated the velvet shield and the back rooms were all empty, devoid of all life. The perfect place for Shinigami to be alone with his brooding thoughts. 

Kari shivered at the sudden cold and alone feeling that she got.

__

Is this what it's like for him all the time?

"Duo?" she finally called out. Suddenly a large hand was put over her mouth, causing her to cry out as she was pulled backward. She stumbled in to a strong body, a familiar scent filling the air around her. Some was breathing on her neck and it was making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

"You should listen to Quatre when he says leave me alone." Duo rasped. Kari narrowed her eyes and bit down hard on his finger. Duo yelped in surprise and released the young girl. Kari spun around to face her assailant, who was now holding a bleeding finger.

"I'd rather listen to my own gut instinct." Kari shot back. 

"Yeah?" Duo said angrily, "What's it tellin' you?"

"That you need some one to talk to…" Kari answered, a little softer this time. Duo made a rude noise through his lips and looked back down at his hand.

"Thanks. You drew blood." He stated.

"If you hadn't tried to suffocate me!" Kari yelled. Duo frowned deeply, suddenly regretful of his actions. Kari sighed and walked over, taking Duo's hand in to her own, "I'm sorry." She said, taking tissue out of her pocket and wrapping his finger.

"Why do you think I need some one to talk to?" Duo asked. Kari gazed up in to his eyes, his hand still in hers.

"Because…something's got you angry. You've changed…and I miss the Duo I met when the school year started." She answered quietly. Duo sighed deeply.

"People change, Kari."

"Not like that they don't. Duo, you need to get it off your mind. I can tell what ever it is, it's just eating you up inside. Please…just talk to me." Kari pleaded. Duo bit his lip and stared off in to the darkness.

"Not here."

"Where then?"

"Are you busy after school?" Kari shook her head. Duo took his hand back and walked towards the curtain, "Meet me at the front. I hope you don't mind riding a motorcycle."

Kari only nodded and watched the boy leave

__

Oh Duo…

~

After school…

Kari walked out the door of the school only to have a bike helmet thrust in to her chest by Duo who was standing off to the side of the door with his black cap shadowing his face and a black leather jacket.

"Let's go." He said, his voice clipped. Kari sighed and followed Duo to his motorbike. The two hopped on and sped out a back entrance of the school avoiding the crammed front entryway full of kids eager to get home. They drove for what felt like forever to Kari, silent and reclusive with their own thoughts. Kari wondered whether or not Duo even noticed her arms around his waist, or if he even cared. His long braid had been tucked in to his jacket, but she could still breathe in deep and catch the cinnamon sent of his hair, the same sent she had caught when she had been pulled close to him behind the stage. This was truly as close as Kari had ever gotten to Duo, and had to admit that her little crush was growing in to a bit more.

They had since left the suburban areas and only a quick flash of a lone house every so often gave any sign of life among the huge forest pines.

"Duo, how much farther?" Kari asked.

"Not much." Was Duo's short answer. They finally turned on to a hidden paved road, completely secluded by thick trees. When the trees gave way, Kari found herself in awe at the huge house that was hidden here. Five stories, ten acres surrounding it, and a good half-acre in size its self, the house had to be the biggest in the county. It was a mansion!

"Wow…" Kari breathed when Duo pulled the bike to a halt in front of a large garage. The two got off and Duo pushed his bike in to the garage, manually closing the door, "You live here all alone, Duo?" Kari asked as they headed for the front entrance.

"No. It's Quatre's property and we all live here." Duo answered as he unlocked the door.

"Where is everyone?" 

"Work." Duo answered with a sigh, "I lost my job because…" he paused, hand ready to push the door open, "because of my temper…" he finished sadly. He shook his head and pushed the door open. The two walked in to a huge living room, decorated in a blue, gray, and white motif with expensive furniture, paintings, and big screen TV with a huge stereo system and large surround sound speakers. There was a huge spiral staircase leading to the upper floors and the ceiling looked like it reached to the sky with its floor-to-ceiling bay windows and sunroof. (A/N: isn't that everybody's dream room? He he he!)

"Holy shit…how can you afford this?!" Kari exclaimed, walking around in circles in the living room with her arms out wide. Duo stood back with his arms crossed and a hint of a smile.

"Quatre's fortune pays for most of it, but we all pull our own weight." He answered. Kari stopped spinning and turned back to him.

"You said you lost your job, though." Duo shrugged.

"I get some good pay working weekends at an old couple's farm about a mile down the road. It's some back breaking work, but I'm good for it." Kari smiled.

"I'm sure you would be." Duo shifted uneasily under her gaze.

"Uh…would you like something to drink? We've got sodas." He offered.

"Sure. Pepsi if you've got it." Kari said. Duo walked in to the kitchen, leaving Kari to stare in wonder at the huge house.

"It's so nice here…is it hard to keep this place clean with all five of you living here?" Kari asked.

"Quatre's a perfectionist and a clean freak, so we kinda have to." Duo called from the kitchen. He reemerged with two glasses of Pepsi and ice, smiling as he handed one to Kari, "But it's not like I'm a total slob, despite my looks." Kari accepted the drink with a smile.

"It's nice to see you smile. I'd forgotten what it looked like on you." She said softly. The smile quickly fluttered away from Duo's face.

"It's hard for me to smile any more." Duo explained sadly, his eyes down cast.

"That's what I was hoping you'd explain today." Kari said. Duo didn't look up and didn't answer, "Duo, you can tell me. It's okay. Sometimes it helps to talk." 

"You said that before. But…" Duo bit his lip again, still staring at the ground.

"How will you know unless you try?" Kari asked. Duo sighed.

"You might want to sit down then. It's kind of a long story…" 

"All right." Kari said, taking a seat on the couch. Duo walked back to the dining room and grabbed a chair from the table, dragging it back with him and straddling it. He leaned his arms on the back and stared at Kari with an intense look.

"You sure you're ready for this?" 

"Hit me with all you've got, Duo." 

Duo took a deep breath and began his tale…


	2. Part 2 - Family

****

Together Again – Part 2

__

"Present day words"

Past

__

Thoughts

__

"Before I was a Gundam Pilot, I was an orphan. Most of my life, though, I didn't remember how I got to be an orphan. There were always unanswered questions in my mind. Who where my parents? What happened to them? Did I have any other family, and if so where they still alive somewhere, waiting for me to find them? During the war, I didn't have time to worry about my past, only try to live my life from day to day and survive another battle. Even after the Eve Wars I didn't worry about it too much. I'd come to accept what I was and move on with my life. Then a man approached me a few days before the Mariemaia incident..."

One year ago

L2 Colony…

"Duo Maxwell?" a gruff voice said from behind the tall teen. Duo wiped his hands off on a towel and turned to face the man. He was tall, lanky but muscular like Trowa, with Heero's cold blue eyes, thick, curly blonde hair, and a no-nonsense look.

"That's me. What can I do for you?" Duo said with his usual smile.

"I have information regarding your family." The man stated simply, holding out a thick envelope to Duo. Duo's smile faded instantly and he became ashen as his hands began to shake.

"M-m-my…family?"

__

"There was pictures, a few personal items, birth and death certificates, documents on how they died…"

"Who?"

"My mother, father…and…baby sister…" 

"So this information…? Did it spark anything?"

"Not right away, though. I would spend hours staring at the pictures, reading the documents over and over again. But nothing ever came to me. It was like I was looking at some one else's family, reading over some one else's life."

"Did you ever remember?"

"Yeah…after the Mariemaia incident, Quatre told us that he owned a large property outside a small town in Oregon, and there was a school near by. He said that we all should go back and try to have some semi normal lives as teenagers while we still could. The only reason I agreed was because my business was about to go belly up. About two months in to the school year, I started having horrible night mares about murder and other things."

"Where they memories?"

"Quatre knew I'd found out about my family…about the man giving me those documents, and suggested I try letting him hypnotize me to bring out the memories, hoping maybe I would sleep better knowing the truth."

"So… did you find out the truth?"

"Yeah…and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty…"

A.C. 186

L2 Colony…

Six-year-old Duo watched as his father franticly threw clothing and other items in to a suitcase. His mother was standing by watching as well, worriedly biting on her lower lip and trying hard not to shake. Duo remembered how he always thought his mother was so beautiful. She was slender, petite, with long, flowing chestnut brown hair down to her ankles and large, loving eyes that always betrayed her true emotions. She seemed like a goddess to Duo, almost unreal but always there with a loving touch to soothe any ache or pain.

His father was handsome, as she was beautiful; tall and muscular, with swept back auburn hair, chiseled face, and narrow but kind dark green eyes. He was a military man at one time, working for the government before the Alliance took over. Now he was a rouge, working for any who wished to do away with the tyrannical Alliance.

"Satoru, are you sure?" Duo's mother asked her husband with worry, "They could be bluffing." She reasoned.

"Azalyn…" Satoru said with an exasperated sigh, "The Alliance does not bluff. Now please help me get things ready. We have to be two steps ahead of them." Azalyn bit her lip even harder, but moved to help him pack.

Neither saw young Duo hiding behind the cracked door.

_What's going on? Why are they packing things and why is Mom so worried?_

"Duo?" a tiny voice came from behind him. Duo spun around only to see his sleepy green eyed four year old sister standing there, her auburn hair tousled and all over the place.

"Hiyami!" Duo hissed, "What are you doing up?"

"Same to you!" Hiyami snapped grouchily.

"SHH!" Duo hissed, not wanting to get caught. Too late. Duo looked up just as Azalyn opened the door.

"How long have you been out here, Duo?" she asked.

"Momma…what's going on? Why's Daddy packing stuff?" Duo asked in a slightly accusing tone.

"Duo…" Azalyn bit her lip again and lifted her tired daughter off the floor, heading for the stairs, "We're going on a trip." Hiyami attempted to wriggle out of her mother's arms, but found it useless and put her thumb in her mouth, leaning her head against Azalyn's shoulder.

"A trip?" Duo echoed as he followed his mother. An unplanned trip? It didn't seem right. Duo's father was very methodical. Any trip or vacation that was to be taken was well planned and completely organized and prepared for anything before anyone set foot in the family car.

"Why would we be going on a trip? We haven't planed for it." Duo stated as they entered the room that he and Hiyami shared. Azalyn laid her daughter in her bed, pulling up the covers to her chin and kissing her forehead before answering Duo.

"Well, something unexpected came up. We have to leave as soon as we're ready. So why don't you try to get some sleep? We'll be leaving very early."

"I can't sleep." Azalyn sighed.

"Then you can help me pack you and your sister." She said warily. Duo nodded and went to the closet, attempting to drag out the large suitcase placed in there. Azalyn came over and helped him lift the heavy object and the two began packing.

"Bring only what you can carry, and enough clothes for two weeks or so." Azalyn was saying as she placed clothing in the suitcase. The two packed in silence for a while, Hiyami sleeping soundly in her bed.

"You're worried, Momma." Duo finally stated, breaking the silence as he handed her items to pack. Azalyn sighed deeply and placed her hands firmly on top of the clothes.

"Yes, I am honey. Some one…a member of your father's family is in trouble, and we're both very worried about him. That's why we need to go as soon as we can. We're going to see what we can do to help." She lied.

"What kind of trouble?" Duo asked curiously.

"That's enough question's for now, D-" The sound of glass shattering in the kitchen down stairs brought Azalyn's head shooting up, her eyes wide and trembling with fear.

"What was that?" Duo asked, starting to get up from his kneeled position on the floor. Azalyn placed an arm his shoulder.

"Your father probably dropped a glass. Stay here and pack the rest of the bags for me." She said, leaving him with his sleeping sister. For a while Duo thought nothing of it, folding clothes while he hummed a nameless tune to himself. 

After about two minutes of packing, Duo began to get restless, wondering what was taking his mother so long. He got his answer in the form of a terrified scream that shook the poor child straight down to his bones. Duo jumped to his feet and his sister jolted awake.

"Duo? What was that? Where's Mommy?" she wined. Duo could only shake his head.

"NO! STOP IT!" Azalyn suddenly screamed from down stairs. Hiyami quickly grew frightened. 

"Duo, what's going on?!" she screamed. Duo grabbed his sister's hand and pulled her out of bed, taking off for the stairs.

"I don't know, but we're gonna find out." He said with determination as he took off down the stairs with his sister in tow. They reached the end of the stairs and snuck to the kitchen door, both children peering fearfully around the corner. Hiyami cried out at the sight of their father laying on the ground, severely beaten and cut and their mother being held back by a man in an Alliance uniform, not to mention five other Alliance men standing around with silencers. 

"DA-" Duo grabbed his sister's mouth and ducked back in to the shadows just as once of the men looked over.

"Shhh…" Duo said with his finger to his lips, "If you yell out those men'll kill Daddy. Do you want that?" Hiyami shook her head, her large even bigger with fear, "Then keep quiet." Hiyami and Duo returned to their hiding place, watching the scene before them with horror.

"Tell me where Sargent Wilkins is." One of the Alliance officers said to Satoru. He groaned and replied, "I don't know," Duo knew who Sargent Wilkins was. He was a family friend who had gone on the run, and Duo's father knew exactly where he was.

The officer got angry and kicked Satoru hard in his gut. Azalyn screamed again.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH!" she cried out, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Shut up! Shut her up!" The officer yelled. Azalyn was silenced by a hard fist to her gut. Hiyami and Duo grimaced at the hit but remained quiet. The officer picked Satoru up by his collar, bringing their faces inches from each other.

"I will ask you only one last time. Where is Sargent Wilkins hiding?" he seethed.

"I told you, I don't know. He just left." Satoru replied coldly. The officer dropped the beaten man to the floor and evenly told his men, "Kill them both." 

Azalyn screamed and fought against her restraints, tears falling from her cheeks like tiny rivers as the three remaining officers aimed their silencers at Satoru. He closed his eyes and breathed, "I'm sorry, Azalyn." A single tear fell from his eyes. 

Duo turned away and pulled his sister close, holding her tight against his chest as the officers pulled the triggers. Azalyn screamed again. Four more shots. Azalyn was silent. Duo didn't want to look in the kitchen, but something inside him had to know what was happening. His sister sobbing against his chest, Duo peeked around the corner.

His mother lay atop his father, blood soaking both of them and a pool of crimson slowly spreading out around him. Duo felt bile rise in his throat.

"Oh God…" he muttered, swallowing the lump in his throat. The officer that ordered the kill looked over, directly at Duo with icy blue eyes.

"There!" he cried out. Duo gasped and pulled his sister away, grabbing on to her and tugging her along.

"RUN!" He screamed, making a b-line for the stairs, the soldiers in hot pursuit. 

"Don't leave any witnesses!" the officer was yelling as they ran.

_God, I don't want to die! Momma…Daddy…why is this happening to us?!?!?!_

Duo bolted up the stairs with his sister, not really having any idea where he was going to hide or how he was going to keep him and his sister safe. Just as they reached the top of the stairs Hiyami tripped and fell to the ground. Duo spun around, ready to run back for his sister when a soldier grabbed her from behind and lifted her up by her hair, holding a knife to her throat.

"DUO!!" Hiyami screamed shrilly, reaching out for her brother.

"Don't move or I slit her throat, kid." He said with a sadistic smile. Duo at the down stairs hall way and saw another soldier with a silencer trained right on him. Duo was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Before he could even react to either situation, though, the sniper downstairs fired. Duo reacted the only way he knew how: jump out of the way. He rolled to the ground and looked up, only to see the knife whip across his sister's throat and bright crimson blood spill over her white night gown. She stared at him with unseeing green eyes as she fell to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Duo howled, "HIYAMI!!!" The soldier grinned.

"I told you not to move." He said. Duo noticed the roller skate lying down by his hand. The soldier pulled out his silencer and prepared to shoot Duo, but never saw the flying skate coming. The gun was knocked from the soldiers' hand.

"ARG! DAMN YOU KID!" he cursed, holding his injured hand. Duo jumped to his feet and bolted for his room, slamming the door and locking it. He stood back, staring at the door with wide eyes. It only took a few seconds for the soldier to recover his gun, and then he was down the hall, banging on the door.

"Open up! OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR KID!!!" he was screaming.

_They killed my sister…they killed my sister…_ was all that was going through Duo's mind. There was a loud crash and the door suddenly began to splinter.

"Oh no…" Duo muttered. He searched franticly for an escape, a hiding place, anything that could save his life. The only option he saw was the window, but he was on the second story. How could one so small survive a fall like that? Then he remembered his father telling him something.

_"If there's ever a fire and you're trapped up here, Duo, the only way out would be the window,"_

"Yeah, but wouldn't I die falling so far, Dad?"

"The best way for any one to survive a far fall is roll when you fall, that way the impact wouldn't be all on one part of your body."

"Roll?"

"Yeah…run for the window, jump through it, put your arms up like this to protect your face from the glass, and tuck your body under like so…"

The image of his father showing him what to do came to mind.

__

It's the only way I'm going to live…

The door splintered again, ready to give way at any second. Duo stood back and aimed himself with the window. The door broke as the solider rammed in to it one last time, chunks of wood flying all over the place. Duo took off running for the window. He put his arms over his face and ducked his head down, his heart going a million as he charged the window. The soldier just watched in shock as the bratty kid with long brown hair ran for the window.

Duo's body screamed in pain as he pummeled through the glass and wood barrier, glass slicing in to his skin. He felt the sickening sensation of falling as he drifted to the ground. For a second it almost felt like he was floating, like he wasn't even alive any more…like it was dream or something. Then reality came crashing in when he hit the ground like a ton of bricks, rolling on the cool grass. He felt his leg snap but didn't scream out in pain. When he finally came to a stop he just lay there on his side, looking back up at the window and the soldier leaning out. Duo closed his eyes, hoping to convince the soldier that the fall killed the young child. 

"He jumped!" he heard him call out to some one. Duo opened his eyes a crack. The soldier had left the window, meaning it was time to high tail it out of there before they found out he wasn't dead. Some how finding the strength, Duo got him self up, found a large tree branch to use as a cane, and limped to the near by park, collapsing near some bushes. 

He felt like he wasn't far enough, but it was all his body could take. Images of his family's death flashed through his mind. He once again saw his sister's blank eyes staring at him, so helpless and scared. His stomach couldn't take it. He doubled over and heaved up everything, tears spilling down his cheeks as the acid burned his throat. He fell to the ground, crying and sobbing. 

"Momma…Daddy…Hiyami…I'm sorry! Oh, God…I'm sorry!" he screamed through his sobbing. He crawled over to a gap between two bushes, in pain, sick, tired, and scared out of his mind. The colony passed by Earth, the blue and green marble filling the huge window of the colony. The blue and green blurred as tears fell from Duo's eyes.

__

I promise…I'll make them pay…someday…

That was the only thing the young boy remembered when he woke up the next morning.

__

"Oh god…Duo…I…"

"You don't have to say anything."

"Is there anything to say?"

"No…"


	3. Part 3 - Love and Death

Together Again – Part 3

Hikari stared at the rain as it fell in little rivers down her window. It'd been two days since Duo told her about his past, and the awful memories that plagued his sleep. He'd explained several things after that, too. He had a hard time being with Kari because she resembled his sister so much. Kari had seen her photo and agreed that Hiyami might look like Kari if she were still alive. He said that even though he knew there was nothing a six-year-old could do, he still blamed himself. Kari could see the pain in the young man's eyes and knew that it was all he could do to just get up in the morning living with what he knew. She shivered and hugged her arms tightly around herself, images of what he'd told her still floating through her mind. 

__

Oh stop it…she chastised herself, _What you're imagining is nothing compared to what he sees in his mind. He was there, he remembers it…the blood…the screams…oh, I wish there was something I could do to make your pain go away, Duo…_

The thought broke through to the surface and brought tears to her eyes. She dropped her head and sighed, brushing the tears away with the back of her hand. She knew there was nothing she could do. Even in the past two days, nothing had changed. Duo still sulked out on his own, leaving Kari with the other pilots. Kari could only guess what was going on in his mind, and if he was ever going to feel better…

~

At Quatre's…

Heero stood silently in Duo's doorway, watching the back of his comrade's head. Duo, on the other hand, didn't even see him there. He was staring at the rain falling on the soft pines outside.

"Looks exciting." Heero said cynically after some time. Duo barely glanced over his shoulder.

"Yeah…" he muttered.

"This is a look I haven't seen in a while." Heero stated his voice monotone as usual. 

"What look?" Duo asked.

"Well, I can't tell, really. Your expressions are getting as hard to read as mine." Duo narrowed his eyes at Heero, not fully understanding.

"What are you talking about?"

"For once you don't look pissed off or sulky." Heero explained, walking in the room, "What's up?" Duo sighed and turned towards the window.

"I finally told Kari about it." He confessed.

"And?"

"And…I feel like I should try and move on, but I don't think I can."

"How'd Kari take it?"

"Sad, horrified, worried. I could tell there was a million things she wanted to say, but…well, she's smart enough to know when to clam up." He said rather rudely. 

"Duo…" Heero protested. Duo turned away from the window to face Heero.

"I meant she knew how hollow those words would sound." 

"About you moving on. What's holding you back? You got your revenge against the Alliance, there's nothing more you can do." Heero said, hoping the words would bring some comfort to his friend. Duo dropped his head, feeling stinging tears in his eyes again. 

"You would say that…Heero, you don't remember what happened to your family, but these memories I've gotten back, they've ruined my life now. The one thing I've wanted to know all of my life has ruined it."

"Why?"

"Because I can't live with my self knowing what I know. It hurts like nothing I've ever felt before. Talking about it won't help. It was nice of Kari to try, but it still won't do any good. I've had the same nightmare now since two months in to the school year, and it's what happened to them. I know why I forgot in the first place now. It was too much for my six-year-old mind to handle."

"And now it's becoming too much for your eighteen-year-old mind to handle." Heero concluded aloud. Duo nodded, tears falling from his cheeks and landing on his pants. 

"It doesn't feel right…they're gone and I'm still alive. She was four years old!" Duo suddenly screamed, slamming his fists in to his knees and throwing his head back. Heero was unfazed by Duo's out burst, but something inside him still panged with guilt and sympathy for his young friend. Duo hung his head again and brushed his tears away.

"Duo, there's a reason your still alive." 

"I thought you didn't believe in God, Heero." Duo said softly.

"I don't. But I don't think that we're all created just to run around on Earth or in the colonies without a purpose."

"Yeah, and mine was to be a pilot." Duo grumbled, looking off to the side so he wouldn't have to meet Heero's intense gaze.

"I thought so, too. I thought my only mission in life was just that: my mission. I was to live my life as a soldier, and when I could no longer serve a purpose as a soldier, my life was over." Duo glanced back at Heero and saw the sincerity in his eyes. He finally met Heero's gaze.

"What made you think otherwise." Duo could have sworn he saw the corner of Heero's lips twitch in to almost a smile.

"Quatre." He answered, "It took a whole lot of talking, but he finally convinced me that the war was over, I was still alive, and I still had a reason to be here." 

"Have you found that reason yet?" Duo asked.

"No, but I have a whole school year." Heero answered with a shrug. Duo sighed and thought in silence for a moment.

"Thanks, Heero." He said softly.

"You gonna be okay?" Duo nodded.

"I just need to be alone." He answered, his voice cracking. Heero hesitated, then nodded and got up to leave. At the doorway he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

"Duo…I…" he cleared his throat uncertainly. He was never very good at this kind of stuff, "If you still need to talk or something…I'll just be down stairs." When he didn't receive a reply, he sighed and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Duo waited until he heard the soft lock click on the door before he dropped his head and began to sob.

__

My pain will never end…

~

A week later…

"Kari? Kari pick up the phone! It's Quatre! Pick up the phone it's an emergency!" 

Kari bolted through the back door from being outside, grabbing the phone and wishing her heart would calm down. Something wasn't right, and she had the sinking feeling it had to do with Duo.

"Quatre! I just got in from walking the dog! What's the big emergency?" she asked breathlessly.

"You need to come down to Infinity Cliff." Quatre told her, his voice thick with worry.

"What? What's going on?"

"It's Duo." 

"WHAT?!" she shrieked.

"Duo's here…and…well, I can't explain everything but he's been asking for you. We need you down here ASAP!" Quatre told her, practically yelling. 

"Damn…All right I'm on my way!" she said, slamming the phone back down and grabbing her car keys, bolting out the garage door with her mind screaming. 

~

At Infinity Cliff…

Kari hit the breaks hard, nearly fish tailing her car in to the parked van sitting at the base of the cliff. Next to the van Kari saw Duo's bike. She got out of her car just as Wufei came running down the trail that lead up to the cliff edge. 

"He's up there!" he called out over the howling wind. With in the fifteen minutes it took Kari to get up there from her house, the sky had turned almost an inky black with thick clouds and the wind had started howling loudly, a huge contrast from the clear sky and perfect sunset that had started. 

Kari ran past Wufei and headed up the trail.

"What the hell is going on, Wufei?!" she screamed over her shoulder as the young Chinese followed her.

"He's been threatening to jump off, but he says he wants to talk to you first! That baka actually wants to kill himself! He's actually made a few attempts this week, but we've talked him out of it every time! Now we can't! He kept saying that he wanted to see you, so we did the only logical thing and called you!" Wufei called back. Kari picked up speed, her heart thudding and her legs pumping hard. She pushed tree branches angrily out of her way and ignored the pain throbbing in her side. She wasn't going to let Duo die. No way. 

They reached the top and saw Trowa, Heero, and Quatre all standing around the huge cliff edge, and Duo standing dangerously close to it. They all looked up when Kari came running through the brush. She stopped dead in her tracks when she realized Wufei wasn't kidding. 

"Duo! Stop this right now! This won't help anything!" Kari yelled over the wind, walking a few steps past the other boys. The wind blew strands of her auburn hair over her face, and the cold air sent shivers down her spine. This couldn't be happening.

"You're wrong, Kari." Duo called back.

"Why do you think you have to do this?" she asked, her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes.

"Because, I can't keep living with my self." He answered. Kari felt her heart skip a beat, "I just had to say thank you for trying to help. No one's ever actually been brave enough to approach me like you did, and you have no idea how much that means to me." He said with a sad smile.

"Duo, you don't have to do this!" Heero called out for what felt like the millionth time.

"I don't have anything left to live for. We ended the war, and I've seen peace. But there won't be any peace in my heart…not as long as I'm living."

"You do have something left to live for!" Kari cried out, taking a few more steps forward.

"Yeah? Like what?" Duo shot back, his look becoming cold.

"M…me. You have me…and your friends. Look at them. They're here, telling you they care about you. They don't want you to die." Duo's defenses went down.

"Kari…" he sighed.

"Duo, I love you!" Kari cried out. Duo was speechless.

"I…I…you do?" he was finally able to stammer out. Kari smiled and nodded with tears in her eyes, walking towards him. 

"Yes." She said. Now she was just inches away from him. She looked in to his eyes and saw the pain there, saw how much he'd been through, and knew that was much more than any one his age should have to go through.

"Kari…I…"

"Shh…you don't have to say it." Kari said, shaking her head. Through the pain, the hurt, and the anger, she saw the love there.

Duo felt his heart skip a beat. Kari had been his light in the darkness, but the darkness would always be there. He knew that he felt something for her. There was something special between them, but he couldn't keep living his life like he had. 

"Kari…I hope you understand," he whispered softly, stepping back on to the sharp ledge. He hardly felt the tears that spilled down his cheeks as he fell backwards. Kari screamed his name and grabbed his arm before he fell completely. Trowa, Quatre, Heero, and Wufei could only stand there in shock as they watched this scene unfold before their eyes.

Duo dangled there with Kari barely hanging on. He looked up to her with water violet eyes.

"Kari, please understand…let me be with them…" he pleaded. Kari let a sob escape her throat. She nodded inspite of herself.

"I…I understand," she said.

Kari let go…

~

A cemetery three weeks later…

Kari laid a large bouquet of flowers down on Duo's grave. Once again she had to brush the tears away from her eyes as she thought of that night.

__

I had to let go…because he couldn't let go of his past…

She thought.

"Hello, Kari." A deep voice came from behind her. She turned to see a solemn looking Heero with Wufei.

"Hey guys." She replied.

"You doin' okay?" Wufei asked, tilting his head slightly.

"As well as I can." Kari answered with a shrug. A tear slid down her cheek and she looked down at the ground, not wanting them to see her tears.

"It's okay to cry," Heero said. Kari released a heavy sob and her shoulders began to shake, tears falling to the grass. Heero walked over and wrapped her in a tight hug. The three of them stood there for some time, Heero just letting Kari cry. Wufei walked over and knelt down beside Duo's grave, running his fingers over the short new grass.

"I know you miss him." Wufei started. Kari sniffled, wiped her eyes with her sleeve, and looked over Heero's shoulder at him. Heero turned back to his friend, keeping his arm protectively around Kari's shoulders.

"What did you say?"

"I said, I know you miss him. We all do. But…" Wufei sighed heavily and looked to the blue skies. In his mind he could picture Duo playing with his baby sister, laughing happily for the first time in a long time, "We can take some comfort in knowing that he and his family are together again…"

A/N: My damn muses or my own insanity….? You decide!


End file.
